Anonymous Celebrity

Our group presentation went very well tonight. So well, in fact, that our group (hypothetically) "won" the $500,000 grant to start our foundation! This was decided by an annonymous class vote. Assuming everyone would vote for their own group, this is a pretty big deal because it means we swayed two (or more) class members to vote for us instead. I am ecstatic! This is way better than a "thanks" for all of my hard work (and stress, and loss of family time, and - at times - suffering interpersonal relationships). I'm not gonna say it was "worth it," but it's nice. It feels like it paid off in the end. YAY!

We turned in a notebook with our powerpoint presentation, a mock-up of our website, a tri-fold brochure, tons of research, evidence of community support (from media sources and interviews), triage flowsheet, call log, 72 hour follow-up documents, and information on area referral agencies and etc. Ms. Essick was so excited about it she said that she was going to share our idea with some of her colleagues as an idea for an actual foundation. *squee*

I am so happy. I am going to partake of some serious (and well deserved) R&R tonight.

I'm logging my calories and exercise on sparkpeople.com again. For those of you who don't know, it is a free site. The tracking tools are very helpful. I lost 40lb using it before my gastric bypass.

I wrote a blog on my page there tonight: "The honeymoon is over...". Please feel free to read it and share your comments. I may talk about my said issues more here at a later time (among other things weighing on my mind). It will be a locked entry, for sure. I would do it now, but I am just too tired tonight.

This is just for me:
992 calories today
No exercise (except @ work, LOL)

1) I have joined the gym at work and will hopefully tour Thursday and get set-up.
2) I'm taking a PE class at community college this fall - weight training! I really need someone to teach me how to lift weights correctly (bonus - it counts toward my BSN).

Did I ever mention that I hate exercise? I wish I was one of those endorphin junkies. I'd love to trade food for exercise. Is it possible?

Ronan by Liz Allen

My heartfelt thanks to my dear friend Liz for remembering our baby on her family beach getaway. I owe so much to her and to her angel Janell. I would have been lost without the support Liz gave to me in my deepest darkest grief. She was a positive example and gave me the courage and freedom to remember and grieve for Ronan the way I needed to. I may never be able to repay that to Liz, but I can pay it forward for Ronan and Janell. I have and I will continue to do so at every opportunity. Their memory lives on in my heart with many special angels.

Liz's nonprofit:
www.asmallvictory.org

My loss support community:
our_angels

Thank you, Liz. :)

Me & Kev in the surf with Jonathan. Myrtle Beach, SC - July 26, 2009.

We went to Myrtle Beach last weekend. Two days and one night. Lots of sand, lots of sun, lots of driving. It was fun and too short. The end.


Ultimate Johnny beach cuteness, 7/25/09.

Those are my favorites... More pics available on Facebook (some of you still need to join me there - c'mon, suck it up already).

LJ also needs a "reply all" feature so that I can post one reply that everyone who has commented can see without having to return to my page. You know, like "thanks guys" once instead of however many times? LOL You know you agree.

LJ needs a "like" button like facebook. That way I could let my friends know I'm reading without actually having to post a comment. I am so tired today.

Our 2008 Toyota Yaris

We bought our first car together on Friday (7/10). After nearly seven years of marriage we are finally going into debt together. I guess it's about time? :P We bought a 2008 Toyota Yaris from Carmax. We got it for just under $14,000. It was barely used, only had 6,500 miles on it. It's a pretty little thing. I love that it's green. I am so sick of silver and champagne and burgundy and BORING cars. It doesn't have a lot of bells and whistles. It's an automatic with A/C and a CD AM/FM radio. That's it. No power door locks or windows, not even cruise control. The way we see it, those are a few less things we'll have to repair one day. It gets great gas mileage... 28mpg city and 33 highway. We wanted something economical to get us to and from work. We're going to share. Whoever comes home earliest from work will have to drive the van so that it is available for transporting children in the evenings (and on weekends). Kevin works a lot of late nights... Hehe. I love this car.

I saw this on the Tyra show...

www.ashleymadison.com

It's a dating website for married people. Need I say more?

The guy who founded it tried to defend it by saying that people were going to do it anyway. But why go online to regular dating sites and lie about their marital status? Ummm... newsflash ASSHOLE - cheating on your spouse through an "honest" profile on your site is STILL a betrayal and it is STILL deceit. Maybe not to the lowlife the person is hooking up with, but to the unfortunate and unknowing spouse. So who are you helping? Die now please.

I am absolutely appalled and outraged at this.

I'm going to give my opinion here and then I am going to let it lie... I won't be commenting here or on FB or anywhere after this.

I feel like the Michael Jackson - the TALENT - that we knew and loved died many many years ago. I mean no disrespect by that. It is the simple truth. I am not going to comment on his physical or mental state or about any of the allegations made against him. I just don't care to get into that.

Some people are taking this way too seriously. It's rediculous.

I haven't been watching religiously all along, but I tuned in to the season premier (half of it) and I watched all of tonight's episode. What has happened to them makes me sad. Just seeing how much they've changed and how it's torn them apart. I know there is way way more than meets the eye, but wow... I am on Kate's side. She seems genuinely hurt, sad, and scared that her marriage is ending. Jon seems to care less. He seemed very nonchalant about it and even said he was "excited" to be moving on to a new chapter of his life. What an asshole. Yeah, Kate has always been a bit type A and has micromanaged the hell out of her family (and at times emasculated her husband), but I think she did it to keep a routine and sense of security for her family. Having a lot of kids is chaotic (I should know) and kids thrive on routines. The more you have, the less "routine" your life tends to be. And they are living theirs in the public eye. How impossibly hard is that? It doesn't matter if you shit sunshine and piss rainbows, someone is going to have an issue with how you are raising your kids. Yes, they made their choices, but I doubt either one of them planned on things turning out this way. So yes, I am sad for them.

...from my new iPhone. Squee!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Our March for Babies walk on 4/18 was a success! Team Ronan Christopher raised $905!! It was a beautiful and perfect day. It was emotional for me, but in a good way. I am always overwhelmed with gratitude for the people who show up for the walk. I know each and every one of them has a story and a reason for being there. We were all there to help improve outcomes for babies and THAT means everything! ( Here are some of my favorite pictures... )

Thank you to our generous sponsors for helping us surpass our goals for 2009. And thank you to everyone who recognized the importance of this walk and showed your support even though you could not donate. We truly appreciate knowing we have friends who will remember Ronan with us. That has always been what is most important to us.

We had a great Easter. My 17 month old niece Christine spent the night with us Saturday night. We took her to Reynolda Gardens and took pictures and dyed eggs. She went down easily in Jonathan's toddler bed (which we moved to the girls' room for the night). She was a fun addition to our Easter morning too. She and Jonathan shared (and lightly fought over) his new toys. We all piled in the shower together to get ready for Church this morning. We even managed to leave the house on time! I guess I really could handle two kids 11 months apart. Not gonna happen, though.

We picked Sara up and took her to Church with us this morning too. She really appreciated that. The kids were pretty good at Mass, especially Christine. She is such an easy baby. She sat quietly the whole time. She only got a little squirmy once. Jonathan had to go to the crying room with daddy. :) LOL We went back there to keep him company for awhile after the homily. I traded and gave him a little break.

Back at the house we had our traditional Easter egg fight. All of the eggs we dyed the night before were smashed together and eaten with raisin toast. The last egg (the unbroken one) is the champion. Kevin had the champ egg this year.

While we were waiting for our Easter ham and other goodies to cook me and Kev took the kids outside for an egg hunt (provided by Auntie Sara). After the egg hunt we drew on the driveway with Johnny's new sidewalk chalks. Such fun!

The food was wonderful and we all had a really good time. It was a very pleasant and relaxing weekend. Happy Easter!!!

( My favorite pics... )

There are tons more photos at Facebook. :)

My friend Liz (cant_wake_up) founded A Small Victory in memory of her daughter Janell Victory. Liz and ASV have been featured in "People" magazine's "Heroes Among Us" for their work providing their CARE (Compassionately Alleviating Regret Everyday) Packages to local hospitals and bereaved families.

When Liz lost Janell to stillbirth in 2004 she received no guidance in how to preserve the memory of her baby. Liz held her daughter, but there are no family pictures. There was no memory box. She was given a hospital photo taken over a week after her daughter's birth. She took a lock of hair and Janell's footprints and that single photo as her only memories. She has since added things to her collection that remind her of her baby, but there is no getting that precious time with her back. So many of us who have experienced loss were similarly unaware that it was alright to make our own memories and spend as much time with our babies as we wanted. We were all unprepared.

Since her loss, Liz has strived to support other families and guide them through their grief. She helped me so much after my loss of Ronan. I was lucky to have her there to tell me my feelings were normal and my remembrances were okay. She gave me so many wonderful ideas and so much support. Now I am giving back...

A Small Victory is hosting their "Seeds of Hope" benefit dinner & auction on May 2nd in Renton, Washington. I have made a necklace in Janell's memory. I am donating it to A Small Victory for the auction. I'm very proud of it. I wanted to share work that came from my heart and my hands for such a worthy cause...



Me working on the necklace.


Close-up, unfinished.


Me modeling the finished necklace.


I love the way it turned out.

Liz, I hope that you like it. Everything about this necklace reminds me of Janell. I didn't know her like you did, but you have made her important to me and to so many others. You do her a great honor. Her memory lives on in every life she's touched. And she has touched so many.

I bought Jonathan this shirt on sale from Gymboree.  When I was pregnant with him after our two losses we always said (hoped), "the third time is the charm."   We were jinxy about sharing his name with anyone while I was pregnant, so Jonathan's nickname became "Lucky."  We were hoping it would be true and I would carry him to term and have a healthy living baby in the end.  He was very lucky indeed and I carried him to 39 weeks (had to be induced, even).  So this shirt means a lot more to me than a St. Patrick's Day novelty.

Other updates...

Kevin has put in for two new jobs.  One is a full-time position with the marketing department at Costco (where he is a current part-time employee).  His hours would be 9-5 Monday thru Friday, but would include going to some parties and community events to promote memberships for Costco.  It sounds like a really good job and he's already gotten in good with marketing by doing the AMEX promos for them.  The manager asked him to put in for the job.  I hope he gets it! 

The other job Kevin applied for is at the NC Eye Bank.  He interviewed with them today and is very confident.  He would be doing per diem work with them on nights.  They would give him a Blackberry and he'd be "on call" to go and harvest corneas between the hours of 12am and 8am.  This job obviously isn't for the squeamish, but Kevin thinks he would really like it.  The pay is really good.  It would be great if this led to full-time work in the future. Getting a foot in the door and all that...    I am proud of him.

I am celebrating "birthday week" this Monday through Wednesday while I am off work (my actual birthday is Friday).  Monday I had a nice lunch out at Macaroni Grill with Sara, Chris, and Kevin.  It's been a long time since we've been able to have a double date and I really enjoyed it.  Later that afternoon I took my kids downtown and we had pizza (I updated about it yesterday).  Yesterday I treated myself to a mani/pedi.  Today I plan to go to Reynolda Gardens with Jonathan and Kevin and have a nice lunch at Village Tavern.  Should be nice.  I hope the camilias will be in bloom.  The pears, cherries, and willows already are.  It's beautiful and the weather has been so nice the last few days...  pure heaven.

I guess that's most of the important stuff for now.

That I am down to my pre-pregnancy weight.  And by that I mean before I had Carmen.  I have not been this small in 11 years.

This especially amazes me that I should have lost another 5 pounds while eating like utter crap.  Entirely too much stress lately...  When I finally get my butt back in gear, I am going to be on FIRE.

Toshiba M305 - S4848 Satellite Laptop

My Gateway laptop suffered death by scalding a little over a week ago when my mug of hot tea tipped onto it (and me). The hard drive was completely fried. I was using the kids' Toshiba laptop and waiting patiently for our tax returns, but I was lucky. My dad took me out Saturday and bought me the above Toshiba M305 laptop. It's shiney. And I am happy. It's birthday (mine is in March) and Christmas for 2009. Mom is contributing some money towards it too. I still consider this a mega gift and mass spoilage. My parents just don't do stuff like this. I was pretty floored.

( Features )

Ronan's days hit me pretty hard this year. A big part of the reason for that is because I have perceived that most people just really don't care. Not just about him, but about me. Aside from a very constant and reliable group of friends and family, I didn't feel very supported this year. I know that it is directly related to my fund-raising efforts for March of Dimes. I should not have started trying to raise money before Ronan's birthday. That was a huge mistake that I will never repeat again. I have been sending out emails and posting on livejournal, facebook, and MySpace about my March for Babies walk and out of over 100 people that I have contacted, I have received word back from thirteen people and donations from seven of those thirteen. Despite my small number of sponsors I have already raised $200. I am very proud of that! I am very grateful to everyone who has sponsored me. But only thirteen people out of 100 care about me?

This walk is about so much more than raising money for MoD. This walk is for the memory of my son. I am very saddened that over 100 people couldn't take 3 seconds of their time to comment or send me an email or do anything to show me that they got the message and they cared. It doesn't matter if people can give their money or not. I know that times are tough right now. Times are not too damn tough to show your support to someone! I am just beyond disappointed in people right now. That disappointment has colored my days and set my mood for the past two weeks. It's very unfortunate, but it is what it is. The truth is sometimes ugly.